But there are so many kinds of players out there, and players with different degrees of experience, and parties with different social mechanics… This only really works with more or less equally standing players, on a personal level. And some people just like to think it over, and I don’t want to take that away from them.

The rules (and by extension, character sheets) are there not just to resolve conflicts, but also to promote fairness. I want it to be okay for an introvert player to try on a very extrovert role. But that’s going to mean that she will need to resort to the character sheet from time to time, just because her real-life social skills just aren’t quite up there with her character. That’s going to mean some out of character description of how she handles a sticky social situation. And, yes, perhaps rolling a few dice.

Ideally I see roleplaying as something that can help a player explore areas of life she’s not comfortable with in real life, and perhaps ultimately gain some real insight from those immaterial experiences. And that’s where rules can actually help you, carry you over stuff you can’t handle (violence, intimacy, way with words, mechanical stuff, planning stuff…), work as a crutch between stuff you want to explore in-character (interpersonal or immersive stuff).

Ultimately, I like rolling dice.

Regarding the stuff of legends part, completely agreed. Why would make a nobody if you can be someone worth remembering? Take it over the top, always. I always wondered about fantasy roleplaying’s dogged insistence on starting out as nobodies.