Oh boy, I really went for the very bottom just now and saw some unexpected light there. Not necessarily as bottom, as you’d expect for example a burnout drugaddict buried beneath a continent do, but more roots level bottom. No, I have still not gone the Fear and Loathing route either. I’m just talking about a particularly excellent bad film. Following me? Don’t touch anything.

I watched Airport 1975. I loved it for all the wrong reasons, but I’m sure it’s all right. See, everyone knows the classic, legendary gag-festival of a movie, Airplane!. Guess what movie it parodied? Yees, you’re now following me. Airport started a string of aviation disaster films, basically setting the basis for a genre of its own. It was a success as far as I know (haven’t checked this, but I just seem to recall etc.), and sported quite a few sequels and tag-along movies copying the concept. Of course, such boom always waters down quickly, and no exceptions were offered here. Final nail on the coffin full of disaster corpses came from the movie Airplane! that meticulously took the very same elements, same shots, same characters, same structure, same bloody hell everything and then calmly and carefully shredded it all into pieces and took a long and equally meticulous piss on everything, without stopping for breath just like this insanely long sentence. Of course, it sported a sequel that sort of sucked, so it’s nice to see it really respected and picked up on the originals in that sense, too.

Having never before seen this original father-of-all, I did have gained levels on disaster movies of later eras and I’ve been a diehard fan of Airplane! ever since I was conceived. It really has been a grand part of the grand scheme of things that define me. Now, after almost memorizing that wonderful, graverobbing, gratuitous, disrespectful black awesome sheep of Hollywood, I saw the daddy and it was just like watching the parody that murdered it. Bewildered, I was.

I honestly don’t know which one I was judging, as I was only marveling at the level of parody, shot by shot. They did take different paths at the moment of disaster, and only then I managed to see it standing on its own feet. Wobbly feet with no toes by todays standards, but entertaining nonetheless. Golden stuff, both on “oh haha this is awesome” level and “oh wow I’m really so tainted” revelations. See, it kind of blames you: You’re laughing at the serious old guy because all you’ve seen of him was through a clown mocking him, and then you notice he doesn’t want to be laughed at, then you notice yourself laughing at both, get torn apart, stop caring, and that’s the point of zen right there. It’s a process that cleanses and prepares you for the death that happened to the movie long before you never saw it happen. Instant level-up right there.

Had I not seen Airplane! before, this would have been dire, campy and only mildly entertaining on 70′s pulp values. Good in its own field, but the kind you have to scrape the bottom to get a good taste in your mouth afterwards. Prepared for the blow by a teacher that throws genre curveballs at you, you end up watching it a bit like some teaching experiment or a spotting test, putting you in a state of mind that lets you pick it apart and enjoy the pieces. Too big mouthfuls and it sticks in your throat, finely chopped and it’s like fine caviar mixed with Red Bull. Completely unnecessary and completely win-win.

If you’re a huge fan of movies that are ultimately parodies of some defining movies of the genre, make sure you see the originals. You’ll see the parodies with completely new eyes. Yes, most people do that already and yes, the parodies often are excellent on their own, but to really appreciate them on some deeper, illogical and somehow violated levels, you have to know their ancestors. I just have this nagging spider-sense that’s telling me most people haven’t seen Airport 1975, although they’ve seen Airplane!.

Oh, and as I mentioned Airplane! The Sequel, I must also readily recommend Starflight: The Plane That Couldn’t Land, aka Starflight One. It’s simple concept – take a virgin hypersonic airplane that skims the edge of atmosphere at ridiculous speed, take the usual lineup of basic characters and required tensions and love interests and whatnot, insert said characters in plane, insert disaster event, have said plane stuck in space full of screaming characters, get NASA shove some space shuttles to save the bugger, have people, go nuts, et cetera. It’s really the fat and icky bacteria that makes cream so good.